Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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