two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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