I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
