I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
