Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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