I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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