chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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