I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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