I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize