hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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