you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
