i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You're like the curious george of whores
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
