Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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