I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
