There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
