Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
