I didn't shave. On purpose
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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