Whoa Z and x make the same sound
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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