Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As shirtless as possible
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
