I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm having to shit out rocks
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