u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
