I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
