we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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