Say something about gay babies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
