I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
