I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
