It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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