Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
