Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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