I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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