HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Randomize
