Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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