So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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