Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
