sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
