I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
