Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
