help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
