Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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