My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
