You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
