OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The Olympian is in my bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
