grandma shit on top of the toilet
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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