well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
