does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
