dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
