Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
