He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
