Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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