what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
