We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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