oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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