Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
