the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
