You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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