I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
