You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
