I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
