hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize