We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
