woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
