Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
