His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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