He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
